In love with best friend but she just started dating someone else. Any advice? - guyQ by AskMen
What to Do When Someone You Like is Dating Someone Else and I just got those feelings where I said "I think I'm really interested in this girl. Before you go any further, you have to ask yourself why you want a girl who is already we pursue a woman, especially when there's someone else in the picture. yourself into a toxic relationship (and dating someone who would enter one). There is this girl I have known for 8 years and pretty much always had feelings for her and never acted on them and then she disappeared for a.
You should, however, think long and hard about the implications of inserting yourself into a toxic relationship and dating someone who would enter one. But getting involved in a toxic relationship is also a bit like a quicksand pit.
The harder you try to get her, the more enmeshed you become in her toxic relationship, which saps your energy and makes it harder for you to be a strong, healthy person.
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In the latter, you need to seriously consider your reasons for chasing her — and determine whether you both want to pursue this relationship. If you feel that you must be with this person, and — this is essential — the feeling is clearly mutual that is, she feels about you the way you feel about her, and you both want to be togetherthen you can and should go for it. But ethically speaking, two self-aware adults choosing to be with each other despite any previous attachments is a reasonable ground upon which to build a relationship.
But there also strong reasons not to pursue an attached woman.
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If a girl is in a relationship that makes her happy, why would you want to break it up? Again, we return to the question of motivation. There are excellent reasons to be friends with women, and — as we often say on the podcast — female friends are essential to a well-rounded social life. So consider the practical and ethical considerations here. We can only share the right questions to ask so you can make sound decisions for the long term. Your abundance mentality — the mindset that there are tons of women out there who you could start a relationship with — is going to help you maintain the perspective and attitude you need to get a girl with a boyfriend to fall in love with you.
But your abundance mentality is part of a bigger picture. You need to put yourself first when wooing anyone, especially a girl who already has a boyfriend. In practice, that means having time for her only when you actually have time for her. The best and most attractive thing you can offer her right now is your strength and independence from her situation.
Running every time she says she needs you to erode that strength and independence.
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But you can always do a little more to deepen the connection you already have and push it toward romantic love.
That, more than anything, will give her a compelling reason to be with you. One powerful way to be there for her while simultaneously creating attraction is to make her laugh.
You just have to show her a good time. At the same time, she might not be getting a lot of interest in her at home. One hallmark of bad relationships is that one or both parties start feeling unappreciated.
She might have totally forgotten what it feels like to have a man want her. Making her feel appreciated and desired might be the emotional step you need to spark romance between the two of you. If this is the case, play to your strength in having more in common with her — not superficially, but emotionally, intellectually and creatively. Sometimes, especially in long-term relationships, one partner can become disinterested or out of step with the passions of the other person.
Once your emotional and intellectual chemistry is developed, you must find a way to express your physical interest in her. You run the risk of being the shoulder she cries on when her relationship is bad, or just an escape from her bad relationship, without a physical component.
It also allows you to test her interest in you, and to slowly, respectfully, move the boundaries of your existing relationship forward. If she reciprocates, then an attraction is almost certainly developing between you. In short, getting a woman in a relationship to fall for you is very difficult, complex and far from guaranteed.
Now you just need to shift that a little bit and the two of you can have something even more than friends. She finally got back a month ago and we could never make solid plans.
On New Years she met a guy and had an instant connection and 2 days ago despite not knowing him well and knowing my feelings and hasn't even seen me yet she decided to date him solely because of this instant connection.
There is also more to this story as well. Afew weeks ago she admitted she has been really depressed since she came back and her friends got her into drinking again and she has been drinking a lot due to be depressed.
She also admitted while looking for a job she was so stressed she could not sleep. Which makes me worried she is not thinking straight.
- In love with best friend but she just started dating someone else. Any advice?
- What to Do When Someone You Like is Dating Someone Else
She also puts way too much stock in instant connections. She is an it religious and believe they are signs from God. When in reality it was probably some dude who is good at smooth talking. The other problem is I know who this guy is and he is an alcoholic, drug using jerk but since she is in the honeymoon stage right now she does not know this. I also know they have very different views on topics such as sex. She is no sex till marriage and he is he wants some as soon possible.