Seinfeld quotes about dating a married

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seinfeld quotes about dating a married

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Seinfeld Scripts - The Wife

How do they get the caffeine out of there and then where does it go? How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe.

This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity.

  • Seinfeld quotes about dating a married
  • 64 of the funniest Seinfeld quotes to sum up everyday life
  • I used Seinfeld quotes to chat to guys on Bumble and it really didn’t go well

Completely turn the tables. Especially on a kid. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry. Who do you think is going to be the first ones getting a tour of the ship? You know you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. What do you need a break from getting up at eleven?

seinfeld quotes about dating a married

A coffee table book about coffee tables! If anything, I need to get the exact opposite of me.

64 of the funniest Seinfeld quotes to sum up everyday life

The substitute teachers of the theatre world. I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free? Do dreams require liquid? I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up. How do you wear these things!!

Golf with a Frisbee. This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin. Do you have to be somewhere? Then what are you doing? I'm just waiting for my friend George, we worked out together. Well, it was good seeing you. Yeah, nice to see you, too. She looks after him with a puzzled expression. Uh, would you, um Would you pass the syrup?

JERRY holds up the syrup bottle: Oh, you want to try the syrup!

50 favorite Seinfeld quotes ... and when they come to mind

The waitress comes over. Can I get you anything else? I think my wife and I'll have a little more coffee. And a check for my husband. JERRY toasts with his orange juice: To my beautiful wife. To my adoring husband.

Sure, adoring's good for you, what does it do for me? The owner of the coffee shop comes over. Uh, we don't allow any outside syrups, jams or condiments in the restaurant. To Jerry And if I catch you in here with that again I will confiscate it. Well, I told my wife not to bring it. New scene - Jerry and Kramer in Jerry's apartment. Do I get that, too? Why does she get it? Because she's my wife! You think about each other. You care about each other.

Plus, I love saying "my wife. Hey look, will you do me a favor?

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Will you take my quilt into the cleaners for me, so I can get the discount too? Oh come on, we're gonna start doing this now? I can't be taking all your dry-cleaning in! C'mon, just this one time! Hey Elaine, what do you say if neither of us is married in ten years, we get hitched?

Let's make it fifty. Alright, I'm gonna get my quilt. Alright, listen to this. Remember that guy I was telling you about at the health club? I thought he was with you. I waited, he didn't show up. Anyway, this guy gave me an open-lip kiss. We've always just kind've pecked. This one had a totally different dynamic.

I mean, his upper lip landed flush on my upper lip. But his lower lip landed well below my rim. That's an open-lip kiss, alright. Listen, I think he's giving me a big signal Hey, what happened to you?

Well, what was it? I mean, I was waiting. Can I come upstairs, please? I mean, maybe he wants to ask me out. I don't know why you're interested in this guy, he's a jerk. Because, he doesn't pay any attention to me, and he ignores me. I was in the locker room showering, and I I had to go, so Anyway, I think the guy in the shower opposite saw me.

He gave me a dirty look. I'm not the only one! Do you go in the shower? Well, what was I supposed to do? Get out of the shower, put on my bathrobe? Go all the way down to the other end? Come all the way back?

seinfeld quotes about dating a married

How do you know? Do the medical journals mention anything about standing in a pool of someone else's urine? New scene - Jerry dropping off Kramer's quilt at the dry-cleaners.

Meryl is already there dropping off some stuff of her own. What are you doing here? I just thought I'd drop off a few things. Here you go, Marty. So, if you or your wife want to drop by on Wednesday, it should be ready. What are you talking about?