How to tell your parents dating a guy

5 Ways to Tell Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend - wikiHow

how to tell your parents dating a guy

Depending on how your parents feel about you dating, this step can either be exciting or Your parents might ask why you like this person. He hasn't let them know he's dating someone yet. At what point do folks generally start telling parents they're seeing someone? I guess I want. Happily in love but don't know how to break it to the folks? Don't stress! This is how you tell parents about boyfriends - without them losing it at.

What are his other relationships like? Do his friends know about you? Have you met them? My third date with my now wife involved picking up a Christmas tree for my mom, taking it to her house and decorating it for her.

Of course it was at that point that my mom realized I had an SO. I think it was several months before I told my dad and I was living with him at the time. Your relationship, his relationship with his parents, his past relationships because maybe he had a bad experience with his parents meeting an SOthe phase of the moon, etc. I found that unusual, but it was fine. I generally don't tell my parents until there's a natural time to tell them, like if I mention I'm going to some event, and they ask if I'm going with anyone, and I'm like yeah, [name], and they're all "who's [name]?

Long story short, people have all sorts of relationships with their families, and these discussions can be strained and come fraught with all sorts of baggage.

How to Tell Your Parents You're Dating Someone They Hate

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think it would be totally fine if you asked your boyfriend why, though. You're allowed to be curious. But whatever the very wide range of "normal" is, five months is definitely well within it. I've known Indian women who had boyfriends for years and never told the parents. I've also had someone after 4 months tell me he hadn't yet told his family about me, and that if he "told them about every little relationship" I'd just ask my SO.

I wouldn't say anything until I was ready for a partner to be treated as a member of my immediate family, because that's how they would treat any partner I mentioned, even casually, because they really, really, in a loving but very uncomfortable way, want me to be married as soon as possible.

I'm much closer to my sisters, but even them I wouldn't tell until I was ready to be treated a long-term social unit with someone, because it wouldn't be fair to tell them and ask them to keep it a secret from my father. My family are very nice, but they want to invite people I've known for a few days home for Christmas to ask about their intentions towards me, because they worry that if I spend one more holiday without a ring on my finger, I'm going to be alone forever, and since they're so happily married, that would be a tragedy.

So, I choose not to share. Nor does it, really, have to do with not loving my family; they're just terrible on this particular issue, and I choose to save myself and my dates that discomfort. Your SO may have his own reasons that also have nothing to do with you. The best way to find out is to talk about it.

Not everyone is as close to their parents as you are. My mom only met her well after we'd gotten married and only knew she existed because I happened to mention she'd been in a car accident and my mom was all "Who's that?! Part of the reason I didn't tell my mom anything is she'd always get really weird about girls I was seeing or she thought I was seeing and I wanted to have the foundations of the relationship in place before she got all weird.

I do not think you are even close to the timeframe where I would start asking questions about it.

At what point do you tell your parents you have a SO? - dating | Ask MetaFilter

Maybe at one year, or at a major relationship threshold cohabitation, engagement, house buying, etc. Family telling is a very individual personal thing. Friend telling I think should happen fairly early on. If it is five months in and he hasn't introduced you to any of his friends, that is when you should worry. My grandmother would then get on the phone with every single human being she knew and straight-up make shit up about how I'm getting married to a person she never met and that I am terrible.

I never told anyone about that because I didn't want people to think certain members of my family were, well, exactly who they were. His relationship with his parents might be fine, but there are all sorts of other people who may not use this information for good.

I met my SO's parents at Thanksgiving, which was about 3 months in, and my parents didn't know of his existence until nearly 10 months. I told him early on that this is how I am on this issue and he was okay with it until he wasn't okay with it, which was at the 10 month point. He basically said, when do I met your parents, I'd like to.

I realized it was important to him then, put aside my quirk about it, and set up a dinner with us all.

How To Tell Your Parents Your Dating

Her parents were upset they found out she was dating a woman, and told her they didn't want to hear about it. When she was later dating a man she was very reluctant to tell her parents and didn't do so for a long time. So yeah, it depends. When asked and I'm asked oftenI actively lie. It's for my dates' benefit as much as for mine, because if I didn't lie, all of my dates would end up on the mailing list for my stepmother's New Years Letter, which is all about the details of the medical procedures she's had in the past year.

Though recently, I told my sister that she needs to stop asking, and that I'll tell her when there's something to tell, and she's respected that for over a month, so she may be reforming somewhat And I like my mom. So as others are suggesting YMMV. I think it's also worth pointing out that it's totally okay to feel perturbed by this - you're not a monster! So I've got a pretty good relationship with my parents, and I'd probably tell them at whatever point it felt comfortable.

I know that's not very objective, but it depends really is the only answer here. It depends on the parents, on the individual, on how close the two parties are and how independent of one another they are. I've held back for a while sometimes because I know that as soon as I mention it to my parents it is going to be Broadcast Through The Family At Large; I also tend to wait until I'm pretty sure "okay, this guy's gonna be around for a while.

The only time that's bit me in the ass is when I came down with a freak medical thing during our second date and I needed emergency surgery, and it fell to the guy to call my parents and let them know - "Hi It doesn't necessarily mean it's serious or heading toward a relationship, just that it was a thing that happened to me that week.

I think deliberately holding off on telling them would make the whole thing more drama-filled than it should be. If my mother knows about every random OKCupid dude I go out with, it's less of a big deal than if, after years of hearing nothing about my dating life, I announce I've been seeing someone for 6 months.

On the other hand, that's my mom, and she accepts that dating random OKCupid guys is something that happens in my life that she doesn't need to get all worked up about. Not everyone's mom is my mom. Then family doesn't need to know my relationship status. My parents didn't know about my now wife until we'd been dating nine months and we're looking at buying a place together. We didn't meet each other's parents until maybe 4 years in, and the parents didn't meet each other until the wedding 7 years in.

I didn't tell my mom about breaking up with an ex of 5 yrs until about 6 months after it happened and only because she asked if he was joining us for a holiday. I just don't really fill my parents in on my personal life like that.

how to tell your parents dating a guy

Neither does my brother - we didn't meet his ex-girlfriend of 4-ish years until he was in a car accident and we met at the hospital; didn't meet his now-wife until they moved in together. My parents are lovely people, extremely nice, friendly, not overbearing. This is just the nature of our relationship with them. My mom is strongly religious and would give me lots of subtle and not-so-subtle indications of criticism, disapproval, and worries about the state of my soul, so I don't do it.

I used to be different. In my early 20s I was unflinchingly honest, and would tell them everything on principle, and it made my life royal hell to be quite honest.

how to tell your parents dating a guy

I will still tell them once it's serious and just deal with the fallout but am less eager and open about it. So I would say it's really really context dependent. It's a little like the way people relate to the facebook status thing. I'd examine why you're worried about this. Is it just because your timelines don't match up or you have the normal insecurities that can pop up around the month mark? Or is he telling them about that great concert he went to but leaving you out of the story? You don't mention how often he speaks with his folks, or what kind of conversations he has, so if your little voice is noticing something like actually omitting you in his conversations then I'd talk to him about it.

The rest of my family met him when we'd been dating about six months, but they'd known about him for about six months. I don't keep secrets.

#KeepCalm: How To Tell Your Parents You're Seeing Someone

My mom met him about a year later. There is no norm for a "healthy" relationship. But what is healthy is looking at why this bothers you, and if it continues to, talk to your partner. Is he keeping you from meeting or talking about you to his friends also? That would make me hesitate more than parents. This was a leading cause for breakups among people who are me and said Indian women. I tell my parents when the relationship moves from the "casually seeing each other" stage on to the "OK we are now an item stage.

If one of you is, like, moving across the country for grad school next year and so you have an agreement that your relationship has an expiration date, it would make perfect sense that he hasn't told his parents about you, since having to tell parents about a breakup kinda sucks.

But if you haven't clarified one way or the other what your big life changes could potentially mean for your relationship, you might want to have that conversation. For example, telling your parents that you are thinking about going out on a date with the girl when you've been dating her for the past few weeks isn't being honest. When they find out the truth, your parents aren't likely to continue trusting you or your judgment. Make honesty a priority, and fess up to your entire relationship from the start.

Avoid Arguing Don't confuse the word "tell" with "dictate. Approaching the conversation in an argumentative way is likely to look disrespectful and make the problem worse.

Calmly sit down with your parents and explain your side of the story. If they say "no way" or tell you that you can't see your new guy, avoid arguing. You can either accept their decision -- if you feel that their dislike has merit -- or you can rationally explain your own points. Crucial Compromise Even though your parents may have the final word -- especially if you still live under their roof -- going into this type of tricky conversation with compromise in mind can help everyone to get what they want.

Compromise is a key ingredient in every relationship, including those within your family. If you already know mom and dad dislike your guy, consider what kinds of compromises they might agree to. For example, suggest that you'll only see him at your house or while under their supervision, or that you'll invite him over for family dinners so they can get to know the real him before the two of you get serious.