Dating indian man who grew up in the us

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dating indian man who grew up in the us

Oct 2, I just want to set the record straight of why Indian men date white women. The Indian girls in my neighborhood were raised traditionally. Mar 11, Raised in Canada. I presume the cultural context is similar enough to let me answer. Early on, I dated and pursued Indian girls. Started moving away from them. Jul 11, Growing up as a first generation Indian-American kid is so different than being raised I started dating a guy who was only a grade above me.

For the time being, Ravi and Geeta share a house and deal with their parents "encouraging" them to find spouses. Ravi is just under 30 and Geeta is just north of 30, making it a minor scandal within their family and circle of friends that neither of them is married.

dating indian man who grew up in the us

This film chronicles Ravi's search, over the course of a year, to find a woman whom he and, hopefully, his parents, think would be a good match for him. Even though their own union is the product of a traditional Indian arranged marriage, Vasant and Champa have lived in the U.

But that doesn't stop them from helping the process along.

Indian children brought up in US confront dilemma of being torn between two cultures

Early in the film, the family takes a trip to India during "wedding season", which they believe is a great opportunity for Ravi to find his bride. Ravi, however, prefers to find an Indian girl in the U. The problem, as Arsenio Hall's character says in the similarly-themed "Coming to America", is that "the land is so vast, the choices so infinite.

Ravi's parents circulate a bio sheet about him amongst other Indian-American families, whose eligible bachelorettes have bio sheets of their own. Ravi also tries meeting women online through Indian-American dating websites.

Then, Ravi flies around the country having first dates with a number of the women he meets using these techniques, while his parents keep in constant contact with him, hoping to hear that there will be some second dates.

Ravi even attends an out-of-state marriage convention in the hopes that he'll meet and fall for, not just an Indian-American woman, but one named Patel, of which there are many. Behind the camera is Ravi's sister.

We hear them converse about the latest developments in Ravi's search for his ideal woman and there are also reality-TV-style sit-down interviews with Ravi explaining to his sister how he sees things.

At the beginning of the film, Ravi explains that, while Geeta is also in the movie business, she's no cinematographer, as evidenced by her shots which are sometimes out of focus, badly lit, poorly composed and include part of her boom mic in the upper right corner of the frame. All this is true at various moments in the film plus, subtitles are sometimes used to make it clear what certain people are saying if the mic doesn't pick them up well enoughbut the movie has well-executed creative aspects as well.

Occasionally, Geeta and her fellow director Ravi and her fellow producers illustrate part of the story with appropriate graphics and animation. Also, during most of Ravi's sit-down time talking to the camera, we hear his voice and Geeta's, as she interviews himbut what we see is a cartoon-animated version of Ravi, which sometimes includes a "long shot" of Ravi and Geeta together. Maybe American society was pointing out to us that we are different.

Unaware of the conflicts their children face, some parents tend to chastise them for adopting American habits, fearing that they will become aliens to the culture of the home country. Although they attend schools side by side with Americans, Indian children quickly learn that there is no greater taboo than getting 'Americanised'.

dating indian man who grew up in the us

The dilemma is made worse by the fact that many of the same parents have themselves traded saris for pant suits, vindaloos for stews and Indian dialects for American English. Their stereotypes about Americans were applied to us. Yet, Premsagar says her father assimilated completely into the American way of life.

Maya Rege, 24, who grew up in Rhode Island, admits that during her formative years she shunned the 'Marathi mandals' get-togethers with other Marathi-speaking families her parents took part in. She was, she says, rebelling against most aspects of being Indian. But now Rege wishes her parents had pushed harder. She is frustrated about not knowing Marathi - which her parents themselves have given up speaking. And she wishes they had taught her more about Hinduism.

dating indian man who grew up in the us

They're definitely proud of their culture and they want us to know about it, but to raise us here and teach us everything about that didn't work completely. She was surprised to discover their strong sense of Indian identity.

dating indian man who grew up in the us

They see themselves as Indians first. In his case, the sense of alienation began when he went to Harvard, where the old-boy network of influence is very strong. Priti Prakash, a year-old student at Queens College, New York, who was raised on both coasts of the US and describes herself as socially and culturally an American, says racism makes her feel like an outsider.

It's hard for a second generation Indian if you're not into accepting American values or Indian values. Narsu finds it a great relief to visit India, where the faces look like his and there's no need to guess people's feelings. But to raise us here and teach us all about that didn't work.

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This might mean insisting that they become doctors - leading to feelings of failure among those who don't - or forbidding children from taking part in social activities that their peers take for granted, like dance parties or sleep overs at friends' houses.

Though they are reminded of how easy they've had it by hard-working parents who've had to pave the way, even second generation Indians - who don't have the distinction of being brain surgeons or nuclear physicists - may find themselves working twice as hard as their white American counterparts. The net result, she says, is adolescents leading double lives and lying to conceal the difference. One reason is that the more conservative parents still cling to outdated notions of what's socially acceptable back home - little knowing that some of the very things they prohibit are accepted in urban middle class Indian society.

Expatriate Indians: American Born Confused 'Desis' - International News - Issue Date: Aug 31,

For instance, Dr Lalitha Masson, a gynaecologist who heads the United Indian American Association of New Jersey, believes it's best for Indians to live close to one another so that the children will fraternise. She herself lives in Jersey City, which has a sizeable Indian population. Masson points to the collapse of the American family, the influence of drugs and early sexual experimentation, and says: Kids here are not doing as well as Asian European kids.

AS a reaction against the conservatism of their parents, some Indians go to the other extreme.

dating indian man who grew up in the us

In Jersey City for example, a young Indian woman capped an ongoing rebellion against her conservative parents by leaving home to live with her black American boy-friend.

On the other hand, Narsu's older sister and brother - both of whom were raised in a liberal climate in the US - returned to India to have traditional weddings.

Narsu himself, having discovered the pitfalls of cross-cultural relationships, says marrying an Indian might be the best thing for him. But for many second generation Indian Americans, the contradictions of their dual status are nowhere more in focus than during visits to India.