Help, My Teen Wants to Date!
Tips for parents to cope with teen dating and how to help their teenager cope as well with the teenage dating scene. What role should parents play to steer a child away from the traps in the most In our family the focus has not been on dating, but more on training our teens in Also, parents need to evaluate the vitality of the Christian walk of the person who . Oct 4, It is our job as parents to help our daughters make smart choices about whom to GUIDE HER IN BEING SMART ABOUT WHOM SHE DATES There is, of course, no guarantee that our kids will take our advice into account.
Instead, I recommend that you closely monitor the relationship and be ready to take drastic action if it is needed. As parents we need to remember that if a girl has been in a relationship for just a few months, her feelings for her boyfriend are likely the strongest emotions she has ever felt in her life. If she does not know the difference between attraction and attachment, she is likely to begin making choices and actions based on the idea that she is in love.
Help her understand what real love is, and that sacrifice not stupid sacrifice is very much the heart of love. If your daughter is in a relationship, she should ask herself a few questions: Does he open doors for me?
Does he ask me my preference on dates? Is he willing to make time for me even though he may have a busy schedule? Does he often put my needs ahead of his own?
These are all ways in which a teen boy can demonstrate a willingness to be sacrificial. From the earliest stages of a relationship, our daughters need to know that if a boy is not sacrificial toward her, then he is not worthy of her. Too many young girls stick around with jerky, selfish boys because they do not understand that attraction and attachment are different.
I also encourage you to tell your daughter the story of how your marriage relationship unfolded. As early as her middle school years, take an opportunity to tell her about how you moved from attraction to attachment.
Let her know how long you were in the relationship before you knew it was the deep love of attachment.
You ditch your friends mid-movie so you can call and talk with your boyfriend. You stay home on a Friday night just in case your boyfriend gets done early from his other activity and wants to hang out. You skip a trip going anywhere on this planet so you can spend time with your boyfriend.
You let your grades suffer so you can talk, chat, and text with your boyfriend more. You quit any sport, play, job, musical, or other activity you enjoy to spend more time with your boyfriend.
You skip a class in school to hang out with your boyfriend. This is doubly stupid sacrifice. You are getting stupider by not going to class. You spend less time with your best friends to spend more time with your boyfriend. You lie to your parents about where you are going so you can see your boyfriend.
Help, My Teen Wants to Date!
You do things sexually that you think are wrong and inconsistent with who you are and who you want to be. The girl is venturing without mature direction and acting on her own instincts and going places emotionally and physically that are not good for her, yet the parents stand idly by.
It is our job as parents to help our daughters understand where safe and healthy limits are when it comes to relationships. Here are some suggestions that I think would have helped guide and protect me when I was a teenage girl. Your daughter is probably not going to like some of these, but I can guarantee you that she will thank you for them later. Help your daughter practice the one-to-one ratio for boyfriend and friends. If she spends Saturday with her boyfriend, make sure she spends Sunday with her girlfriends.
It is important that her circle of friends remains intact for many reasons. Do not allow her to be on the computer or accessing the Internet on her smartphone or iPad behind a closed door. This boundary was true of talking to girlfriends as well. Encourage her to join a club, sport, or activity that interests her and helps her create other sources of connection and relationship. My dad was especially supportive of me creating a community of wonderful women who surround me still to this day.
Need I say more? Help your daughter maintain separation from her family life. She needs to realize that unless she is married to him, her boyfriend is not part of your family. If your daughter wants to break up with her boyfriend, she needs to make the break as clean and quick as possible.
Parents: 4 Dating Basics For Our Sons and Daughters
No Losers In every God-honoring relationship, a primary objective should always be to build each other up in Christ Ephesians 4: Regardless of the dating outcome, each person is encouraged in their personal growth and relationship with God.
As a dad, I want to be a "sounding board" for my sons and daughters. At this point in their lives, they need me to be more of a counselor than an active coach. If I've done my job well during their primary years, the foundation is formed and they're beginning to build upon it. Yet it appears that, in many cases, Christian parents have not been actively involved in helping our children develop a biblical understanding of what dating or courtship looks like.
For most Christian dads and moms out there, our own dating experiences had little roots to any biblical truth. Where did we go wrong? The problem goes far beyond dating.
It is quite apparent that our American culture no longer looks to the Bible to establish its moral foundations. Peter Marshall was correct in his U.
Senate prayer when he said, " Yet, as parents, we can help our children get back on a God-honoring path when it comes to dating. It has and continues to be a two-way conversation around what it means for God to be glorified in and through our lives as we become less and Christ becomes more, i. As parents, we need to re-position dating back on a pathway that anchors our teens and adult children to God's ways.
Just as in marriage, dating or courtship needs to be about God's glory and building each other up in Christ. To consider it any less, is setting up a slippery slope where both emotional and physical ties naturally take hold. Men and women were created for intimacy with one another.
Time will never erase this reality. If a man and woman spend time together in close proximity and share their inner-most feelings, things will happen. Even couples with the best-intentions have faltered when boundaries aren't in place.Christian Single Moms and Dating (Advice for Single Moms and Guys Considering Dating a Single Mom)
Fail to plan; plan to fail. This may sound like "old school" or something our great grandfathers did. The fact of the matter is that when it comes to love and romance nothing really has changed from one generation to the next. Biologically, our bodies were made to have intimate and sexual relations with the opposite sex.
Sure, times have changed and people have changed with them. Yet, if we really believe in the "unchanging" truth found in God's Word that speaks to the sanctity of marriage and the need for sexual purity, we will find ourselves turning some pages back in our history dating books to learn from our great grandparents.
I'm speaking to myself and to the men out there. We need to step it up and get back to some biblical basics when it comes to loving our wives and our children.
We need to set the example for our teenage sons and daughters. Our younger men need to uphold our daughters as precious sisters in Christ and protect their pureness. They need to know that real love is not about pleasing yourself.