HOW TO SPOT ASPERGER’S SYNDROME @ Heartless Aspergers
Hannah Bushell-Walsh's husband was diagnosed with Asperger's What it is like to be diagnosed with autism as a 45 year old woman. The Card or Don't Touch. I am too old-fashioned when it comes to holidays. I insist to this day a handmade card beats a Hallmark card any day;. Some people with Asperger's/autism (aka autistic people or on the spectrum) are unemotional, so we have that reputation, but not all of us.
The third and final meeting is a time to clarify questions that were not completely answered in the previous meetings, gather additional information and raise additional questions that have emerged from the information collected so far.
When everything has been addressed to the extent allowed in this timeframe, the final part of the clinical interview is the presentation of my findings. Presenting these findings is a multi-step process. An example of this is difficulty noticing whether people are bored or not listening in conversations. Persistent difficulty in communicating with, and relating to, other people. Their conversations have to be generally one-sided. There has to be reduced sharing of interests and a lack of emotional give-and-take.
Superficial social contact, niceties, passing time with others are of little interest. Little or too much detail is included in conversation, and there is difficulty in recognizing when the listener is interested or bored.
Poor nonverbal communication, which translates into poor eye contact, unusual body language, inappropriate gestures and facial expressions. Difficulty developing, maintaining and understanding relationships. Narrow, repetitive behaviors and interests.
Signs of these characteristics as early as months of age, although the difficulties with social communication and relationships typically become apparent later in childhood. Clear evidence that these characteristics are not caused by low intelligence or broad, across-the-board delays in overall development.
What happens if someone has some of these difficulties but not all?
It can eliminate the worry that a person is severely mentally ill. It can support the idea that the person has genuine difficulties arising from a real, legitimate condition. A new, and more accurate, understanding of the person can lead to appreciation and respect for what the person is coping with. Acceptance by friends and family members is more likely. Employers are more likely to understand the ability and needs of an employee should that employee make the diagnosis known.
Accommodations can be requested and a rationale can be provided based on a known diagnosis.
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Having the diagnosis is a relief for many people. It provides a means of understanding why someone feels and thinks differently than others. There can be a new sense of personal validation and optimism, of not being defective, weird or crazy.
Acceptance of the diagnosis can be an important stage in the development of successful adult intimate relationships. It also enables therapists, counselors and other professionals to provide the correct treatment options should the person seek assistance. Liane Holliday Willey is an educator, author and speaker. Yes, but the list is shorter than the list of advantages.
No longer will they be able to hope to have a satisfying, intimate relationship. Instead, their future will be filled with loneliness and alienation from others with no expectation of improvement. While it is not legally acceptable to do so, we know that silent discrimination happens, hiring decisions are not always made public and competition can leave someone with a different profile out of the picture.
It very well might be that some other condition is the real problem or, more likely, two or more conditions are overlapping. Brain imaging and studies of the brain structure show similarities between the two disorders. Having said that, there are important differences between the two. A person with AS may hide his confusion by staying silent, laughing along with you or in some way pretending to understand.
Their thinking is concrete. They have difficulty in generalizing. When they hear a difference of opinion or an attempt to explain a different perspective about a situation, they become defensive because they see it as conflict, or a criticism of who they are.
They can become quite defensive when asked for clarification or a little sympathy. The defensiveness can turn into verbal abuse as the man with AS attempts to control the communication to suit his view of the world. They are prone to ruminating or fixating on bad experiences with people or events for an inordinate length of time.
They often have a very difficult time hearing the negative emotions of others. They may refuse to communicate, and then lash out in a very hurtful way later on. They are always right. They will frequently say that you are being irrational or illogical.
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They misinterpret the experiences, feelings and ideas of others, and therefore come to the wrong conclusions. You often find their behavior exasperating or even infuriating. This is the main thing that frustrates partners of people with AS. They have poor impulse control and easily become frustrated and angry.
They may not enjoy kissing or physical affection. Although we may not realize it because it comes naturally to us, merging requires a great deal of non-verbal communication between drivers. It is often other drivers on the road who avert potential disasters with Aspies. They follow rigid routines and get very frustrated and upset if those routines are interrupted. They may not be able to tolerate the labels in their clothing or the seams in their socks, or the barely perceptible hum of a refrigerator.
They are often unable to tolerate a new pair of shoes, preferring to wear the same ones over and over.
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They are physically clumsy. Some may have problems with manual dexterity.
They are hurtfully blunt and casually critical. This behavior comes across as insulting and hurtful. A man with AS may display unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact or eye contact that is too intense, few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures. I can see how some of you might believe we see everything in black and white.
That may be true for some younger Aspies as it is with younger NT's. That rule applies to most people period. As we get older, we realize there are shades of gray.
I wouldn't expect any woman to come out and openly admit something like "Yes, I'll date you though you have AS because you're such a sweet guy," or "No, I won't date you because you have Asperger's. They seem to think their magic vaginas will turn the bad boys into princes and that the bad boy will come "rescue her from despair" before they ride into the sunset in his muscle car with the convertible top down. My sister dated a guy like that, and I asked her why she put herself through this.
Her explanation was that he wasn't normally like that. I wound up breaking the guy's nose after he hurt her for the last time, but she got mad at me.
Then she had to learn the hard way "bad boy" wasn't an oxymoron. We tried telling her numerous times that he wasn't right for her, but she didn't listen.