Dating A Japanese Woman: What’s It Really Like?! » Zooming Japan
What I've experienced comes from dating Japanese women myself and speaking with foreign men that lives there. I've also had conversations with Japanese. A British academic concludes that the only way he can truly enjoy and develop his love for Japan is by excluding his love life from the equation. Meet Japanese women. Japanese Dating Women Japanese. 1 - 20 of I was out from japan for seven years and came back in in tokyo since nov
Is the fact that I have rejected such a union a sign I crave liberated Western women — even the extreme, ballsy Australian variety — over retiring Japanese girls? I have no particular problem with the combination of Japanese girls and Western men — and yet long ago I found myself living in Japan and never dating Japanese women.
You might think at this point I am about to revert to the standard narrative that the cultural background of a partner should be irrelevant when you meet Mr. But actually I am going to argue the reverse: I admire the grace and beauty of Japanese women and am more than aware of their considerable diversity, from demure kimono-clad Kyoto ladies to the unfettered, boisterous personalities so associated with Osaka.
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I realize you can find everything in Japanese womanhood, from power-dressing politicians and brilliant authors to tech entrepreneurs. If my circumstances in life were slightly different — if, say, I was living in a Western country working for a Western firm, or if I was looking to form a bridge to Japanese culture — I have no doubt that having a Japanese partner would add a fascinating extra dimension to my life.
The reason, however, that long ago I found myself seldom aspiring to be in a relationship with Japanese girls has to do with the manner in which I connect with Japan itself, a culture in which I have always searched for a version of personal freedom.
Somewhere in the cultural differences between Japan and the West I felt that I could define my own personal sense of self. Having a Japanese partner, I repeatedly discovered, unbalanced this sense of freedom.
No longer was I in control of my relationship with Japan; now I tended to feel more like a prisoner in a relationship with a foreign culture from which I could not escape. The only way I could truly enjoy and develop my love for Japan, I concluded, was by excluding my love life from that cultural relationship.
Let me take you back to the beginning, though, when in my mids I came to study and live in Japan as a graduate student.
Like so many other Western men in Japan, I soon discovered that at the age of 25 I was dating a drop-dead gorgeous Japanese girl of such loveliness that I had to pinch myself to believe she could be interested in my shabbily dressed self.
Having endured undergraduate years in England where I was barely able to find a girlfriend of any description, this sudden transformation of fortunes should perhaps have been enough to have immediately made me seal the deal with the heavenly Japanese girlfriend, who was only too keen to settle down together.How Do Japanese Women Approach Their Crush?
But somehow I dithered, feeling correctly that my romantic career was only just beginning. There were several reasons why I started losing interest in dating Japanese women, but the main one was my deepening involvement with Japanese culture. By then I felt quite comfortable — indeed, slightly bored — in an exclusively Japanese world. Gotta quit eating this extra-large pizza while I type.
Like I was on a date with this Japanese girl — this was a couple of years ago — and we went to a Mexican restaurant. They have really good fish tacos. You know, I have a pretty checkered past, and I really needed to refer to my daily planner, just to be sure.
That seemed to disappoint her. Which is a shame, because I was kind of into that whole witch thing. Then a few months later, I met a Japanese girl in a club in Roppongi. She was short and cute, and as the night progressed we ended up outside, walking down the street. Anyway, at what seemed to be the perfect moment, I swept her into a parking garage and we started making out against a concrete wall.
How a love of Japan led me to stop dating its women | The Japan Times
That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently. Are all the women in this country mental? I mean, really, have some timing. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan.
Granted, there are a few good-looking foreign dudes with pretty Japanese girls, but overall, attractive, successful foreign men do far better in their home countries.
Or anywhere, for that matter. Anyway, hot dog bun. You know, I initially believed Japanese women were wild about foreign men.
Thanks a lot for hyping that wisdom, internet. Outside of Irish bars, international parties and the like, in the society at large — and I hate to say this, but well — foreigners are not highly regarded in Japan, including by Japanese women.
Foreigners occupy a space similar to that of gays in America: Meet my new bride: Ok, let me add a couple of disclaimers here. Women have very real constraints and concerns in this society. When she is married, however, things change, and her most important task will be taking care of the family — this is something at which the Japanese excel.
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In this country politeness rules and is evident in the way they talk and communicate with one another. This is particularly true in the home, where the Japanese woman will unite with the opinion of her partner. Over the past sixty years, the lifestyle in Japan has changed. Due to their inbred politeness, they are pretty good at hiding their emotions, even when they find themselves in a difficult situation or in the middle of a serious conversation with which they may not agree.
But, remember, when in Japan you should always be polite! The work ethic of Japanese men and women is to work hard, especially in the capital, which, in the New York City style, never sleeps. Coming from this background, your beautiful Japanese woman will expect you to have the same attitude.
This is great, because if you happen to be a career-driven workaholic, your partner will absolutely accept the situation and give you all the support she can. Neo-Confucianism defined all social roles in terms of hierarchical relationships; including the domination of men over women, when married, and the father was dominant over the children. And, outside the home, Japanese women were subordinate in nearly all legal, political and social contexts.
For example, they were not permitted to enter certain sacred spaces and, in some communities, were not allowed onboard fishing vessels. Sounds like a funny story? Over the past few decades, many of these rules, regulations, customs and prohibitions have been scrapped, although there still exists a law excluding women in Japan from sumo wrestling events!
However, Japanese women are still fairly submissive, and respect their menfolk — a trait that western men find very attractive when they start dating a girl from this amazing country. Many years ago the man of the house represented the family as far as the outside world was concerned, while his woman exercised overall control of what happened at home on a daily basis.
Nowadays, especially when equipped with a good education, the sublime women of Japan will readily accept the values of an open western culture.
How to date a woman from Japan? When dating a woman from Japan, you need to know that she will be looking for a good, kind, respectable man with whom to have a child at a later stage if all goes well.