Minimising self harm scars and dating

How to Stop Self Harming (with Pictures) - wikiHow

minimising self harm scars and dating

This booklet aims to help you understand more about self-harm and what to do if you are worried about yourself or someone else. Self-harm refers to people deliberately hurting their bodies. With the right support people can find new ways to cope and change their self-harming habits. Having self-harm scars and dating can bring about very personal questions about your scars. Learn some ways to answer those questions.

minimising self harm scars and dating

The right answer for you will vary depending on a whole host of factors, including your self-harm history, where you are in self-harm recoveryand your partner's familiarity with self-harm.

Ultimately, the decision is up to you. You are in control of your own narrative and there is no obligation on your part to do things one way or the other. If you are having trouble with answering questions about your self-harm scars and dating, however, here are some general guidelines that I find to be helpful. This does not mean that those people are bad people or not worth our time.

How to Support Someone Who Self-Harms

There are many reasons someone might not choose to date someone with self-harm scars, most of which are not related to vanity. The good news is, a lot of people — especially casual partners — will not mind the scars too much. If you feel the need to harm yourself, try to give yourself a goal of getting through the next ten minutes without doing so.

Write down thoughts and feelings that are distressing you; crumple the page up, rip it apart and throw them out as a way to let go of that thought. Hit a pillow or cushion to vent your anger and frustration. Have a good scream into a pillow or cushion. Take a minute and breathe or meditate.

minimising self harm scars and dating

Go for a walk to take yourself away from triggers. Being in a public place gives you the time and space to reduce the urge to hurt yourself. Make lots of noise, either with a musical instrument or just banging on pots and pans.

minimising self harm scars and dating

Scribble on a large piece of paper with a red crayon or pen. Call a friend or family member and talk to them.

minimising self harm scars and dating

Listen to music you like or watch a film you enjoy. Go online and look at self-help websites. Talk to someone about what is triggering you or seek help from a professional. But the most helpful to my recovery was the five minutes rule, where if you feel like you want to self-harm, you wait for five minutes before you do it, then see if you can go another five minutes, and so on till eventually the feeling that you need to is over.

However if you are self-harming it can be difficult to stop, especially when you feel distressed or upset.

The truth about self-harm

Wounds and injuries of any type can be dangerous and carry the risk of infection, which can be serious, so they need to be looked after. If you have serious injury, feel unwell or feel that you are going into shock fast breathing, racing heart, feeling faint or panicked you should seek help immediately. If you find yourself in this situation, find a trusted adult or friend who can get you the medical attention you need.

It is a huge step towards stopping when they begin to talk about it, because it means that they are starting to think about what might take its place eventually. Fill it with things that make you happy and calm, to help you to get through this feeling. You could also include a list of things to do that make you calm when you are feeling triggered.

Talk to someone When you are feeling overwhelmed, talk to a friend, family member or trusted adult. Let them know what you are thinking. This can help relieve the pressure that you are feeling.

The truth about self-harm | Mental Health Foundation

Make a list of people you can talk to at these times and keep it somewhere safe. Knowing who you can talk to in times of crisis at 3am, weekends or when you are at school can make it easier to ask for help when you need it. Add these to your safe box. This will remind you that you are not alone and there are people you can talk to when you need to. Avoid alcohol and drugs We often drink alcohol or take drugs to change our mood or to avoid our feelings.

Some people drink to deal with fear or loneliness, but like self-harm the effect is only temporary and can end up making you feel worse. This changes how you think and feel, so can increase feelings of anxiety and depression. When it wears off you can end up feeling worse because of the effects it has on your brain and your body.

Self-Harm Scars and Sex, Dating, Intimacy

Do something you enjoy Remember that there is more to you than self-harm. Do things that remind you of this and make you happy. Maybe this is a sport, or a hobby you like doing such as writing. Doing things that you enjoy and makes you feel happy, helps you look after your mental health.

It helps to improve your self-esteem and can help you remember that you are important and have value.

On Having and Seeing Self-Harm Scars |

You might put pressure on yourself to do things in a certain way, or feel that nothing you do is good enough. Try to not be so hard on yourself about not getting things perfect. I am worried about someone else If you are worried that someone you know is self-harming, it is important to know what to look out for and what to do.

Below is some information to help you. Signs to Look Out For It can be difficult to tell whether someone is self-harming. Here are some signs that might suggest someone could be self-harming [32]: Withdrawal or isolation from everyday life. Signs of depression such as low mood, tearfulness or a lack of motivation or interest in anything.

Changes in activity and mood, e. Talking about self-harming or suicide. Abusing drugs or alcohol. Expressing feelings of failure, uselessness or loss of hope. Risk taking behaviour substance misuse, unprotected sexual acts.

Signs of low self-esteem such as blaming themselves for any problems or saying they are not good enough. Three times, people have even reached out and touched me by stroking the raised stripes on my shoulder or yanking my forearm toward them for a closer look. I was only fifteen the first time such an incident took place, and for the rest of that unbearably humid summer, I sweated through long sleeves.

At twenty, I no longer suffer through the discomfort of long sleeves year-round, and I no longer feel the sting of shame when a stranger comments. I injured myself for many years because I was sick in the same way a person with lupus or leukemia is sick. My brain was scarred by childhood abuse and self-injury was a symptom of that damage; a symptom that has improved with treatment despite its history remaining mapped across my limbs.

I do not want to answer intrusive questions about my life or tolerate touch from strangers any more than the next person. As a result, I have to make a choice in every situation about what balance of coverage versus exposure I find most manageable. Am I going to take the chance that my boss sees these scars and fires me, be that fair or unfair?